WINNERS' CONTRIBUTIONS

Two drunkards were once seen fighting. The first one told the other,"Tomorrow I'll become the PM of India" The second one replied to the first, "Only if I resign will you become." Contributed by Smiley A boy who lived in a hostel send a telegram to his father: No money, no fun, your son. His father replied: Very bad, too sad, your dad.                                                                     Contributed by Amog Master: It is only a cat that has died then why are you crying so much? Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?                                    Contributed by Mohit A boy who lived in a hostel send a telegram to his father: No money, no fun, your son. His father replied: Very bad, too sad, your dad.                                                                     Contributed by Amogh A marriage takes place between elephant & mosquito. Next day mosquito dies why? Answer: Because at night elephant had lighted mosquito coil. Do not cut trees see plants breathe out oxygen and thats what we breathe, if we cut trees where are we gonna get oxygen from. Think about it. This is my request to all of you                                                                                              Contributed by Divya Holi hai!!!!!!! Colours red, green, blue will fly high in the sky Splashing water from pichkari Spoiling mummy's saree standing on the terris By throwing balloons making people harras Cries of holi hai making the atmosphere gay Will be fun so get ready to celebrate with joy Forget the enemy and envoy as the festival of fun the'holi'has come                                  Contributed by Lokesh        History of India The land of sorrows, beautiful things who borrows, is none other than my motherland India, I am proud to be her daughter,and hate those slaughterers Who want to make us prisoners and mere listeners. Come and promise yourself not to keep the history of India in a common bookshelf, being an Indian, try to maintain unity between yourself.                                                                                              Contributed by Meetesh Kothari                                   Patient: Doctor, everytime i drink a cup of coffee i get a sharp pain in my eye. what should i do? Doctor: just take the spoon out of your cup.                                   Contributed by Neha Teacher:Tell an important event which took place in1869? Student:Mahatma Gandhi was born in1869. Teacher:good,now tell me now what happened in 1872? Student:Gandhi ji was three years old. Contributed by Sunny Bhojwani                                     Once a man kept a tiger as a pet. One day he was driving with his tiger. The policeman saw him and ordered him,"Take the tiger to the zoo". Next day the same policeman saw that man with his tiger. The policeman said,"I asked you to take the tiger to the zoo". The man replied,"I took him and he liked it very much and now I am taking him to the museum."                                                  Anand Gupta Sucess is a feeling of pure joy It is like beautiful sunshine Making life sweet bright and serene It is like a lovely blooming flower Nothing in life succeds like success It brings peace and happiness.                         Contributed by Sravani     Guest: "This chicken dish is not complete." Waiter: "Why,sir?" Guest: "It has only one leg. what happened to its second leg?" Waiter: "Sir, actually its leg was broken in a fight with another chicken!" Guest: "Then take it away and bring me the chicken who won the fight!" Contributed by Kavisha Maheshwary Once Ramu was travelling through bus. The conductor asked him for the ticket. Ramu gave him a note of Rs50. The conductor said,"do you have change of Rs.50? If not you have to get out at the next stop." Ramu asked him,"do you have change of Rs 50?", the bus conductor replied "No" Ramu said "So you must also get out of the bus with me." After this answer the whole bus burst into laughter.                               Contributed by Pranav     Friend, do you really know how much you mean to me? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night shivering from fright, feeling empty, feeling nothing because I think about how it would be if you weren't here and then I wonder if you really know how very much you mean to me, how incredible I think you are, how you are a part of all my emotions, how you are the deepest meaning in my life, please always know that I love you more than anything else in the world.                                                                                                    Contributed by Dhiral If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns violence. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to love the world.                                 Contributed by Ankush jain     A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my beeeeemer!!!" he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick," retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!" "Oh my god..." replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. "Where's my Rolex?"                                          Contributed by Krish S Inspector: Have you caught the thief? Constable: No!I have his finger prints. Inspector: Good, where? Constable: On my cheek.              Contributed by Madhav Agarwal

"Whose child is this?" I asked one day Seeing a little one out at play "Mine", said the parent with a tender smile "Mine to keep a little while To bathe his hands and comb his hair To tell him what he is to wear To prepare him that he may always be good And each day do the things he should" "Whose child is this?" I asked again As the door opened and someone came in "Mine", said the teacher with the same tender smile "Mine, to keep just for a little while To teach him how to be gentle and kind To train and direct his dear little mind To help him live by every rule And get the best he can from school" "Whose child is this?" I ask once more Just as the little one entered the door "Ours" said the parent and the teacher as they smiled And each took the hand of the little child "Ours to love and train together Ours this blessed task forever."                     Contributed by Dhiral Dattani

Nurse to doctor, " Why do u want to add water in the blood bottle, which we are going to give to the patient who is in the 4th ward. Doctor, "He is the one who delivers milk at my home."                             Contributed by Aathira Nair Once there was an old man who was crossing the jungle. There he met a lion who said, "I will drink your blood." Then the old man said," My blood has become cold, you go and drink a young boy's blood." Then the lion said," Shut up, today I want a cold drink."                                Contributed by Kirty Verma

Values of time do not waste the time. Even a crore of gold coins can't buy a single minute of time Contributed by Preeti Goyal A government servant went to a doctor. "Doctor sahib, I am suffering from exhaustion. Please advise me." After a careful examination the doctor suggested, "You need complete rest. Return to your office as soon as possible."                                                                                                     Contributed by Gunjan Chawla

Punctuality Punctuality is the art of waiting for those who are not punctual. Contributed by Manish There was a man who had a servant . His name was Ramu. One day Ramu came and asked his master -"Sir ! my mother is dead , can I go home. The master said, "Definitely you should go. After some days Ramu again asked his master," Sir can I go to my house my father is dead. The master thought how unlucky this man is and thinking of this he said, "Go fast". Again after some day he said, "Sir can I go to my home my mother is dead." The master thought something and said go. Then after some days, "Sir, can I go to my home my father is dead", then the master said,"what is the matter? how many father and mothers are you having." Then Ramu replied ," Sir, when my mother dies my father marries and when my mother dies my father marries.                         Contributed by Ravi Shukla   Hide & seek The trees are tall,but the moon small, My legs feel rather weak, For Avis, Mavis and Tom Clarke Are hiding somewhere in the dark. Alone, alone all on my own And then perhaps to find Not Avis, Mavis and young Tom But monsters to run shrieking from, Mad monsters of no kind?                             Contributed by Rishabh Father: "I will gift you a cycle if you pass your coming examinations. Son: "Father! here is my report card." Father:" Gosh! you have failed in every subject. What were you doing all these days?" Son: "Father, I was learning cycling!"                           Contributed by Nirav Shah

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