make new friends , dont forget the old, these are silver but those are gold!    
           
             Contributed by priya dugar
" life is a game, play it to the fullest"

          Contributed by Mili Batra


how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Contributed by Saptarshi Chakrabarti
knimmi-neha how do you wear different clothes every day is your father a bussinessman neha-no,he is a washerman

             Contributed by Nimmi
rahul:i am thinking of going to america.how much will it cost?
somu:not one penny also.
rahul:how come?
somu:because for thinking we don't need money.

           Contributed by Rachita Patrikar

mother : sweety , why are you putting sugar under your pillow?
sweety : so that i have sweet dreams!

what did the lion say when he saw two people going in a jeep? goodie goodie , meals on wheels!

             Contributed by Freya Ahuja
teacher : who is an economist?
student : a person who tells what is going to happen and later explains why it didn't.

             Contributed by Shikha Khattar
Man asked another man: sir, may I know where is qutab minar. another man answered: go straight 2 kms.,then take a right turn,then go 2 kms,then there will be 2 bus stops,wait on first bus stop ,after 2 hours a bus will come ,enter the first bus ,then travel 2 hours in that bus and get out of the bus by travelling 2 kms,then take a right turn,then walk 2 kms,then take a right turn then there will be 2 flats pearl residence1 and pearl residence2 enter the pearl residence 2 ,then take the lift and go to secong floor.there will be 2 doors mr.sharma and mr keswani enter mr sharma's house and move 16 yards straight .there will be a shelf in that shelf there will be a holy book ramayan .i put the hand on that ramayan and I swear that i dont know where is qutab minar.

                        Contributed by Wrickie Angrish
teacher: make a sentence using ice
kannu :water is very cold
teacher:but what about the word ice
kannu :the ice has melted to water sir

                Contributed by  Harjas Batra


tongue twister is it right to light night in the night light like tonight?

                     Contributed by Nagarjuna
my father's car is so old someone wrote on it "rust in peace"

            Contributed by Saumitra Sinha
" life is a game, play it to the fullest"
           
                       Contributed by Mili Batra
why did ramu take 18 of his friends to the movie show?
answer:because under18 were not allowed

            Contributed by Sushant Narkar
child-pop please give me hundred rupees.
pop-if i will not give what you wil do?
child-i will jump from 10 floor.
pop-but there is only 5 floor in our building! child-ok!i will jump 2 times from this building.

            Contributed by Sundeepan Sharma
what is the difference between tree and a train? a tree sheds the leaves and a train leaves the shed.

            Contributed by Arun


Fundu Facts
1.a shark has to keep moving forward in order to live. 2.crocodiles are colour blind. 3.cats cannot taste sugar. 4.an octopus has three hearts. 5.dolphin's sleep with one eye open. 6.our body takes 90 min. to digest an apple 7.a male sea horse gives birth to its young ones. 8.a turtle has no teeth. 9.collaconth fish was thought extinctb for 70 million years,but was found alive in 1952.

            Contributed by Amit
Once a math's student and a history student were fighting
history student:i will bring the entire akbars army consisting of 10000 soldiers maths student: i will simply multiply it by 0.
once a man goes to a fair and asks a birdseller the prices of various parrots he had.he told him this one is for rs100 and this one is for rs500 etc.the man says why such a difference in prices.seller says the cheaper one does'nt speak but the expensive one says ram-ram on his left leg being lifted and says shyam-shyam on right leg being lifted.the man got so curious.he asked what will he say on both legs being lifed? promptly said the the smart bird,"stupid!won't i fall?
         
          Contributed by Shivanti Sharma

Here is a poem from me that i think would act as a good encouragement for all of us
"life-the game of cricket"
Life is a game of cricket; with the fear of losing one's wicket. If you have to bowl; do not start to howl. If you have to bat; accept it with a wave of your hat. If you are caught; or bowled for naught. Do not cry; use the next chance well. Because life is a game of cricket; and someone has to lose a wicket.
                                                                              Contributed by Ankit Chadha
Once an optimist fell from the top story of a skyscraper. As he passed the tenth story, he was overhead muttering "so far as so good!"

                Contributed by Garry



How many sides does a circle have?
2 of course. The inside and the outside.

       Contributed by Nikita Mathur
Hello Fundu...there is a poem written by me and here it is on: population .... population is increasing so fast, we don't have place to make our home vast! no matter wherever we go, we find rush but population is not low. india has so much population, yet we never think of any solution. Kashmir, Pakistan is asking for that is why we are fighting a war. Population is so high we will soon fly. pulling and pushing are there in crowd for this our voice also becomes loud! More people more needs, for this we have to grow more seeds! Population is increasing everyone say but can't they find out any other way? I know that everyone has a dream, from river to make a stream. But population is increasing so fast, we don't have place to make our home vast

                             Contributed by Aditi Mall
there lived a man called ramu he was very greedy oncea man a property dealer told him that if he would walk on his land from the starting to the land the land would be his because of his greediness he walked walked and walked after he was at the last point to be touchedhe died moral-you should be content in what you have

                   Contributed by Nimmi
Choose any no. between 2 to 9. Multiply it with 9. Add the two numbers (2*9=18,1+8) eg (3*9=27,2+7). Subtract 5 from the sum. Answer will be 4.

                Contributed by Trisha Singhvi
Winners don't do different things, they do things differently.

      Contributed by Nikita Mathur
Yesterday is the bills payable, tomorrow is the cancelled cheque u have but today is the only cash u have so spend it carefully.

      Contributed by Preeti Goyal

God cannot be every where so he made mothers for he knew there is no other who could take so much care and also keep us aware of things that are good and bad of the life that is happy and sad.

        Contributed by Anmol Choudhary
Please remind me to remind you about reminding me to send you a reminder which reminds me to remind you that i am your best friend forever.

          Contributed by Anubhav
'One day I will change the world'. People ask me how u as a single being can change the world and make it a better place to live in..... all I say is that I will change the world by changing myself..... So guys, change for the good and the world will follow you. May peace prevail on earth!

        Contributed by Neeraj Nariyani
My message is to all my friends is that all are one .no religion bounds. All are each other's friend. All are friends. So do not fight among each other but live together in peace and harmony.

                    Contributed by Suraj Sonu
Tommy[crying]: Mommy, when I cleaned the bird cage, the bird disappeared
Mommy: What did you clean it with?
Tommy[still crying] :with the vacuum cleaner

                      Contributed by Sagarika
When you educate a man you educate an individual; when you educate a women you educate a whole family.
Empires fall not so much because of the strength of the enemy outside as through the weakness and decay within

                 Contributed by Bhavin Mehta
A boy tells another boy-"yesterday a bee stung me". 2nd boy-'did you put cream on it?" 1 boy-"there was no time it got away!"

        Contributed by Anuja Agarwal
Nothing is impossible to a willing mind.

          Contributed by Suraj Raichand
The 5 nevers of life 1.never fall in love always rise in love
2. Never lose your hope
3. Never look down upon your dreams
4. Never be overconfident
5.Never stop smiling p.s-life is like an ocean swim in it and feel the warmth of it.

        Contributed by Samrat Parmar
Some nice sayings 1.take time to live because the world has so much to give. 2.a friend is a person who helps you in every evil. 3.cleaniness is next to godliness.

       Contributed by Vanshdeep Parmar

There were 12 elephants 11 wore red pants and only one wore yellow pants why? Because with 11 red pants one yellow pant was free

          Contributed by Akshay Lokrey
teacher:(asking question)what will happen if there will be third world war?
student:it would be a terrible day because we will have to learn another chapter in history.

               Contributed by Saket Sharan

Teacher-if your father gives your mother rs-150 and then takes away rs-100.then what will your mother get?
student-she will get angry.

father-tell me names of 2 fishes?
son-star fish and a another starfish

                 Contributed by shabbir maskati

ram: mom give me the chocalate you brought today
mom: no it is for tommorow
ram: but mom you said we should do the things now only which is meant for tommorow

               Contributed by Deepak Sagar

a girl to her mother-in the a girl fell down everyone laughed but i didnt laugh mother - why didnt you laugh

girl- because it was me who fell of the chair

              Contributed by Manas

what did the mother chimney say to the baby chimney ans. you are too young to smoke

               Contributed by Rishabh Jain
q) Which bow cannot be tied?
a) rainbow
q)what does a cow like to hear?
a)moo-sic
q)which is a cows favourite game?
a) moo-sical chairs

Contributed by Shikha Jhunjhunwala
Did you know that the first bubble gum was made in 1906 and was called blibber blubber?

Did you know that there are more than 10 millions bricks in the empire state building, New York?

               Contributed by Jatin
. to realize the value of one year:ask the student who failed his final exam. 2.to realize the value of one month:ask the mother who has given birth to a premature baby. 3.to realize the value of one day:ask the daily wage laborer who has ten kids to feed. 4.to realize the value of an hour:ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. 5.to realize the value of a minute:ask the person who has missed a train, a bus, or a plane. 6.to realize the value of a second:ask the person who has survived an accident. 7.to realize the value of a millisecond:ask the person who has won the silver medal in the olympics.
            
Contributed by Nikita Mathur
guess who you must know who i am talking about, surely must be, who always lends a helping hand and doesnt let my mistakes repeat! she cares her love with nice people you find in life she cooks my food and shows me the correct way to go, you must know who i am taking about , surely must be , the person who takes care of me is the worlds best mom you see! -

        Contributed by priya dugar
My dog: I have a very big dog his coat is as white as fog he sleeps like a dog and chases many a frog he is really a great dog!

                        Contributed by Ankita
A tongue twister- peter picked a peck of pepper, a peck of pepper peter picked,but if peter picked a peck of pepper where's the peck of pepper peter picked?
               Contributed by Snehal Sharma
It's truely said God couldn't be present every where so he made mothers. She's the greatest gift received by us from God. Her being helps us imagine how wonderful God must be when his gift is such. We should all try to care for our mothers as she does.

                            Contributed by Sonam Gupta
A hug is a great gift one size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and is easy to exchange. So there is a big hug for Netfundu to brighten up it's day.

                            Contributed by Dimple Sareen
   
I miss you when we're not together I'm growing up so fast see how big I've gotten since you saw me last? As I grow, I'll change a lot, the years will fly right by. You'll wonder how I grew so quick when and where and why? So look upon this handprint (these handprints) that's hanging on your wall. And memories will come back of me, when I was very small.

                                                                                                                    Contributed by Shubham Gupta
   
Elastic is elastic, plastic is plastic, oh my dear mother you are fantastic!!

                                    Contributed by Anand
This is a tongue twister "search engine that searches the search engine that searches the net," repeat it 10 times.

                        Contributed by Pinakin Sabnis
   
Baha'i prayer o god , guide me , protect me , illumine the lamp of my heart and make me a brilliant star. Thou art the mighty and powerful.
                                        
                      Contributed by Charneet Chopra
The world are few that is why there is just one view u r god's most beautiful creation on that there is no deviation u r a gem that sparkles everyday I worship u come wet may sacrifice is urn second name it is a boon not bane for me u r picture perfect with just no defect god couldn't be everywhere so he put u there u play motherhood to the hilt no wonder I am well built u r generous to a fault without u my life would come to a halt hard it is to express wot I owe u all I can say is" I love u".

                          Contributed by Kritika Bahadur
 
Hi mummy. I love you very much. I have written a poem for you mother I just have a mother like you all she is fat and plump almost like a ball but kind and gentle to one and all she makes delicious food that brings water to everyone's mouth she plays with me oh! You are doing a mistake don't you see. I love my mother very much and I hope you like your mother as much.

                                                                     Contributed by Aneri Merchant
If a red house is made of red bricks what is a green house made of ? Gass
Why did'nt the little ghost sleep at night ?
His mom told him human stories

                                                Contributed by Ram
Once a lady started shouting, "My son, my son, has swallowed a 50 paise coin. Somebody help" Soon a crowd gathered and a man appeared and said, "Allow me" Within seconds, he took out the coin. The lady thanked him and asked, "Are you a doctor?" The man replied, "No, I am an income tax collector."

                                        Contributed by Swati
A man, to his friend, "My wife always prepares a square meal and it doesn't fit my round stomach!"

                      Contributed by Nivetha Mahalakshmi
What is a Barbie's best food?
Ans: "Barbieque"

                                       Contributed by Rheala
   
Ram: "Mom can I have another glass of mango milk?"
Mom: "But Ram, you have already had one glass of mango milk."
Ram: "So what? We get milk free and also mangoes free."
Mom: "If you have another glass of mango milk your tummy will get upset."
Ram: "So what? We get even medicines free, dadaji is a doctor!"

                                                                                                                    Contributed by Sheetal Nahata
   
Man: Hello beggar.
Beggar: Hello sir.
Man: How much money did you earn?
Begger: Not so much.
Man: Then how much?
Begger: Rs 5 if you give me Rs 5.

                                       Contributed by Soham
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead bodies got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
they drew their swords and shot each other. A dead policeman heard the noise;
He came and shot the 2 dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too.

                                      Contributed by Mohit
   
Once a teacher asked their students, "Can you tell me what the central American Indian tribes are called?"
One of the students said,"Chiefs"
The teacher said,"Good, and what are woman leaders called?"
The same student said"Miss chief".
                                        
                                 Contributed by Joel Pinto
A boy was stealing a mango from a farmer's garden. Suddenly, the farmer came and caught the boy red-handed.
Farmer:"Are you stealing mangoes from my tree."
Boy:"No uncle, one mango fell down and i'm trying to fix it."
                              Contributed by Javed Khan
 
Say no to plastic bags
As they are very harmful to us,plants,animals and for our enviorment.they are very harmful to us and they are non biodegradable . as they are burnt they produce harmful gaseswhich are harmful to us and for enviorment. in other way they are polluting our enviorment. plastic is also eaten by some animals like cows which cause their death. they also make the soil infertile.plastics bag cannot be recycled. instead of plastic bags we should always use jute and paper bags. which are biodegradable and can be recycled again and again.to make our earth good and green we should always use jute and paper bags.

                                                                     Contributed by Dhruv Goyal
   
   
Measurement of happiness
Happiness does not depend upon what happens outside you but on what happens inside you. It is the measurement of spirit in which you meet the problems of life. It comes from putting your heart in your work place n doin it with joy n enthusiasm. Happiness grows out of harmonious relationships with others based no attitude of goodwill, tolerance,understanding n love. The enthusism, excitement to face it based on events followed by success. Wishing a continous success to all of you.

                                  Contributed by Chitra Pathak
Seeing that the boy insisted on keeping his report card in the upper compartment of the cupboard, his mother said : "Why are you trying to hide your report card, have you got bad marks?" Boy: "No, I am first in the class." Mother:"Then why are you keeping it up? Boy: "Because ma'am has written in it,' keep it up'."

                     Contributed by Lokesh
   
Once a capsellar was passing a jungle.he was very tired so he decided to rest in the shade of a tree.without noticing it , he went to sleep.after he woke up he realized that all his caps from his bag were missing except the one from his head.he scratched his head.the monkeys did the same.then he threw his cap down in anger.the monkeys did the same.he collected all his caps and went home. you must be thinking that you have heard this story,but there is more to it. after 50 years his grandson also rested in the same forest.when he woke up the caps from his bag were missing except the one from his head.he remembered the story his grandfather had told him.following the story,he threw his cap down.but the monkeys did not throw their caps down,instead took the cap which the capsellar had thrown down.then the man was astonished. then one monkey told aloud:"you think only you have a grandfather?".

Contributed by Austin
Q. how do you put an elephant in a refridgirator?
A. take a big fridge and put the elephant in.

Q. how do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
A. take the elephant out and put the girrafe in!

Q. all the animals were called in the lions wedding. which animal did not come?
A.The girraffe as he was in the fridge!

Q.if you had to cross a river where crocodiles live and you do not have a boat, how would you cross it?
A.As the crocodiles had gone for the lion's wedding you just had to swim across the river!

Contributed by Siddharth
   
There were three boys called you,i and mad. one day you and i were fighting. mad called the police staation and told that you and i ware fighting. the policeman replied are you mad. mad replies "yes"!

contributed by Anusha


why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7,8,9. (ate)

Contributed by karan
 
once an elephant was hurt badly and he needed blood. just then an ant arrived.the doctor ant said"what happend my friend?"the ant said "i heard that the elephant is hurt badly and needs blood so i have come here to donate blood to the elephant."

contributed by haider.m.disawala

Riddles a banana is kept in front of an elephant,why doesn't he eat it? A.because the banana is of plastic.

Now there are two bananas and two elephants why doesn't they eat it??
A.because the elephants are of plastic.

Contributed by jalpa

 
A drinker standing near a pit and was saying 25,25,25,25,. a stranger saw him and came there and asked him don't u now the counting after 25. but he did not replied any thing and just looking at the pit and saying 25,25,25. when the stranger came near the pit and peeping it the drinker just pushed him in to the pit and started counting 26,26,26,26,

Contributed by Maqdoom

Riddle there is a 5 letter word,if u remove the first letter the word will become a cereal we eat,if we remove the first two letters it will become the thing which place in fridge. guess the word? ans-the word is price.

Contributed by Rahul

 

Rain Rendezvous

When rain pours down on earth Many new plants take birthPeople with their umbrellas go out The thunder shouts and shouts Children go out and play Everyone is happy and gay When rain comes Everything becomes clean Every place looks green The scorching heat of the sun ends The rustling winds make the trees bend Everyone enjoys monsoon And ask it to come again soon!
Contributed by Phalguni Aneja

Never give up on anything hard Or anything you cant do You must keep trying till u succeed Try and try till u succeed!!!!!

Contributed by Rifka
 
Master: Go and buy a table fan
Servant(at the shop): I want to buy a table fan. Shopkeeper (giving the fan): Here you are sir Servant: How dare you give me only a fan, where is the table under it.

                                  Contributed by Medha Bhardwaj
 
Here is a poem describing the moon. The title is "The huge white Pearl"

As I gently lay on my soft little bed, I noticed the sky putting its dark blanket as I put my soft pillow below my head I wished the doll I asked for X-mas I may get then suddenly from the dark sky came a huge white pearl; in the dark black sky which was very high came out the pearl like a timid little girl. It jumped from house to house looking through the window at every child, it seemed to me as if it was Santa's mouse reporting Santa & then looked at us & smiled. Then it noticed me & was a little shocked to find me awake at that hour at night, it seemed as if its way I had blocked & I had given the huge pearl a little fright. Looking at me, it smiled & went its way through the tall buildings & trees, I waited for it to come the next day then I heard,it was the moon by the breeze.

                                                                                                                     Contributed by Nijhum Patra
   
The morning song at the time of sunrise birds fly in search of food flowers bloom in a happy mood. in all the houses alarm clocks ring ding dong, ding dong, ding, ding, ding. everything is fresh, everything is green. everyone is busy to be so clean. the sky is cool, the earth is bright. thanks to the sun and its light. some go to school, some to work. the buses start and stop with a jerk. but everyone is happy and merry . for it's the beginning of a new day.

                                 Contributed by V.Sindhuja
Examination oh!examination, you demand concentration and preparation, in english you're confusing quotations! in mathematics you're mind-boggling calculations, in geography the increasing populations creating a world of pollution, in history you're a developing civilization, while in civics you're a jumbled constitution! subject to a lot of changes due to the political situation. in economics you're about stockmarkets and production, in botany you're a green plantation! in physics you're suction, ventillation and sound vibration! in chemistry you're a chemical equation for a reaction, in biology you're a plant and animal classification! oh! examination, you're a troublesome botheration. for the brat-pack generation. we submit an earnest application let there be scope for application and novel creation otherwise oh! examination you are the bane of all generations.

                                        Contributed by V.Sindhuja
 
Its a poem which I wrote the day my grandfather was dead...

He was near to die, and we were to cry. They tried hard for his life but, it was too late to stop him from meeting his death. He met an unknown death, we cried in memory of his faith. Such a great he was, my grandfather. Now he used feather to fly above the weather into the heavens, making us six out of seven. It was an unknown death, but he is still alive for his faith. He was such a great.

                                                                                                               Contributed by Anjan
   
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